DADI- Donor Against Donor Insemination

No, not a contradiction in terms. I am a former sperm donor who is now totally opposed to the practice of donor conception. This is my story....

Name:
Location: Melbourne, Australia

Friday, February 24, 2006



November 21, 2001


Dear M-------

I have only just received your letter today.
I don't understand why, but for some reason
the hospital has delayed more than a week
in passing it on to me.

I am writing you this necessarily hasty reply
so I can mail it tonight as I am leaving
for Sydney in the morning.

First, I must say how thrilled and honoured
I felt in finding out quite by chance
that you were seeking me.

So I, too, must therefore thank you in return
for the diligence and persistence you have shown
in your quest such that I now have the welcome opportunity
of connecting with yourself and your brother.

For, I must stress, I have no qualms at all
about meeting you - if you so wish -
if only that you might satisfy your curiosity
about what I look like!

However, I can tell you right now
that when I saw your photograph in the paper
I had no doubt at all that you were my daughter:
you look very much like I did at your age -
my hair was even the same length as yours.

Since time is running very short
I think I will quickly parallel
what you have written to me.

So, a brief biography:
I was born in 1951 (28th June)
in the North Riding of Yorkshire, England,
into an upwardly mobile working class family
(well, my mother, at least, had higher aspirations).

I have one brother, John, who is two years older
than me. In 1958 my parents divorced and my father
emigrated to Australia with myself and my brother
in 1959 (although we came separately via a child
migrant scheme).

I never saw my mother again until Easter this year.
My father never re-married and raised us completely
on his own in Melbourne in the 1960s.

At high school I matriculated in Science
but narrowly saved myself from doing
a BSc at Monash University in 1969.

In the end it didn't seem right for me,
besides the 60s was a pretty exciting time
and I decided instead to go back to England
on my own and take a look at 'swinging London'.

A year later I returned to Melbourne
and shortly afterwards met, and later married,
the mother of my three daughters.

From '74 to '78 I studied for an honours degree
in English Language and Literature
at Melbourne University, during which time
my first two daughters were born
and I became a sperm donor.

Subsequently, I have also completed in 1997
a post-graduate honours degree in Linguistics
and English Language Studies.

Now, however, I am self-employed as a baker
in the vegan bakery I operate with my new partner,
Lia, and her son, Liam.

To answer your questions:
Yes, I too am left-handed and the only one
in my immediate family.

As for the artistic streak:
Well, I belong to that endangered species
known as 'Poet' although, like yourself,
I have also had more than a passing interest
in photography and architecture.
Not surprisingly, all three of my daughters
have a similar bent.

To tell you the truth
I can't recall whether I was offered
the choice of anonymity.

I am certain, however, that I was not availed
of any formal nor even informal discussion
of my rights or responsibilities as a donor.

In fact I was never completely sure, subsequently,
whether the sperm was used purely for research
or for donor insemination itself.

I entered the donor program because a friend of mine
was already in it and I guess it seemed
like a socially useful thing to do.

Although, I must admit, I never seriously considered
the ramifications of what I was involving myself in
at the time. But now here I am and...so are you.

I hope this hasn't been too perfunctory.
It is now five to six and I must print this out
and dash to the mail box.

I really hope you receive this letter
without any further delay.

Please feel free to bypass the hospital
and write to me directly if you wish
or, even better, phone.

My best wishes,

Michael







1 Comments:

Blogger biodad said...

That is because I am planning a slow lead into it to chronologically portray and parallel the unacknowledged reasons why I was no doubt amenable to giving my children away in the first place and, later, my meeting with two of those children and, later still, how - once the initial euphoria of that meeting had worn off - I came to realise the folly of gamete donation and, ultimately, how we all became campaigners for its abolition.

7:36 PM  

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